I have had the strangest urge lately. Maybe not so much an urge as it is a thought...well, a lot of randomly combined thoughts...
I am wondering if I want to quit scrapbooking.
Now...either that statement makes you laugh out loud at the sheer level of dorkiness and yet seriousness with which I am thinking about this...or if you know me well, you might gasp, as scrapbooking has become a huge part of me in the past decade. So many of my friends who I have come to know THROUGH this hobby and can't ever imagine giving it up, probably are thinking I am downright crazy.
Let me backtrack for a second...I've been doing this since I was a freshman in high school, with my mom, during my spring break on which I was recovering from having my wisdom teeth out. In college, I worked for a scrapbook store and learned so much more about the vendors, the products, the industry as a whole and just how big this business of memory keeping really is. I served as historian for my sorority, compiling pages of memories for future pledge classes to thumb through. When my post-college life took me to various parts of the country - North Carolina, Illinois, then eventually back to Iowa - I used scrapbooking to cure boredom, soothe stress, and the result is several books of pages I am so glad I have to look back on.
I don't regret a minute of this hobby - or a single cent of the money invested in supplies that now take over the better part of our spare bedroom. I in fact came up with a rough total last year while doing a home inventory - it shocked me to my core - but as I said, the books I have as a result, and the joy the hobby has given me, have been more than worth it.
All that said, I have not scrapbooked in several months, with the exception of taking a couple layouts to Galena over Labor Day weekend - something my mom and I like to do during our down time up there. Before that, it was most certainly pre-holiday time LAST year that I did anything with paper, scissors, and all that other good stuff. What's more than the time I've been away, is the fact that truthfully, I haven't really missed it. I no longer work in this industry, so maybe I feel less compelled to participate in it? I have some mixed emotions about my experiences there, and maybe that is influencing my inclination to stop?
Perhaps it is that I feel like I do my own versions of scrapbooking in the form of this blog - an archive of photos and stories (plus bonuses scrapping doesn't give you, like YouTube videos, and the ability to link to sites!). I post albums of photos to Facebook and make comments and captions about them. By the time I actually print the photos and tell the stories yet AGAIN on physical paper, it starts to feel redundant.
Between a full time job and a side job that is taking up more "after work" hours than ever before, my creativity is stretched a bit. Both jobs require a good bit of brainstorming, making things "fit", layout and design, drawing/illustration, and creative messaging. I truly enjoy both, but I find that it leaves me with very little extra creative "oomph" to take on layouts for my scrapbook. Rather than the fun release it used to be, I find myself with an occasional spare hour, look at the wall of supplies and think, "Ugh, that is WAY too much work". And to think most people start scrapping when they have children - I don't even have any and it's already becoming a chore to keep up with.
So there must be the reason - lack of time and energy. Except that when I DO have the rare intersection of time and energy, I find myself pulled in other directions much more willingly - decorating the house, brainstorming for a party to throw with Page, wrapping gifts for a friend's birthday. I realize the times I scrapped most have been when I needed a distraction, needed an outlet, just needed something in general. Now that life is settled and there are fewer unknowns that in years past, maybe I don't NEED scrapbooking anymore?
At any rate, in recent months I have taken on the mindset of purging. Negative thoughts, unnecessary tasks that just drag me down, extra physical STUFF around our house we don't need - the more I purge, the more free I feel. I know; it sounds like I've been taking a few too many hot yoga classes. But the truth is, if it's no longer fun, and it's becoming a "have to" rather than a "get to"...maybe it's time to wind it down. Life is too short. I have to laugh...I was sitting in my scrap space the other night just looking at ALL of the stuff I've accumulated for this hobby...and Page walked in, gave a penny for my thoughts, and when I told him I was thinking about quitting, he all but freaked out a little. "Um, I don't think so, Liz. That would be like losing part of my wife. I'm not sure I would know what to do with that." Haha. As long as he's known me, I've been a scrapbooker - I'm not sure he knows how to separate the two! ;)
But looking at the massive amount of STUFF made me realize just how much of it is there is to let go of, and also made me wonder, how does one even begin to dig themselves OUT of this hobby? I guess it would mean hours on eBay, listing "kits" of supplies, and all those tools...yikes, that could be a lot of work! On the upside, I would have that whole big shelf and fun containers available to hold all of the other, non-scrap, artsy fartsy supplies I've collected and use on a regular basis!
So my plan from here is this; get through the holiday madness and the busiest time of year for my little side biz, and see what the start of 2010 brings. Maybe I will find myself drawn back to all the photos and supplies, craving some cut and paste time. I might find more free time when Page starts his weekend ski trips. With the snow and ice season approaching, I may find myself home more often and no outdoors to go play in.
Or, I might find myself at Target, stocking up on the tried and true (and oh so simple) photo albums. In the end, I think as long as I have the ability to physically flip through some pics of years past, I am happy.
I apologize for anyone who made it to the end of this post and is bored to tears. Sometimes a blog is just a place to type through your thoughts, exciting or not. :)